Its a natural feeling: Blog #3 for assignment

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During our years on this Earth we come across bits and pieces of information that we automatically save into our memory or we completely ignore. But what is the issue that keeps appearing from the day we are born, to that long ride in a Hurst, and even when we are gone forever and only our memory is left for others to take control of? What I am talking about is the one of the strongest words in the world, Love. When I was thinking of this topic I had to think back to a past philosophy class when I was learning about Plato.  Out of all the information on this man, I remember one quote that is especially interesting. Plato sees love as this:

             “… a divine madness, a natural, if not wholly desirable emotional imbalance”

           

Interesting isn’t it?  That phrase struck me as completely odd, yet incredibly truthful.  Who can say that they have loved and not seemed crazy? We are crazy just then to say that we have not.  Love is an emotional imbalance.  It is natural to feel love, but to express it will make you crazy. To love and be loved in return truly is the divine madness I believe Plato was talking about.

            The only true natural part involving it is simply the need to feel it. Without love we consciously feel abandoned or not wanted. Mother Teresa once said ”Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible.” Love is something we as humans cannot live without, period.  As conventional as it may sound, those who are not afraid to love are not afraid to fail. And I believe failing time after time will ultimately raise one to greatness. Loving something or someone may be the greatest feeling in the world, it as if “ all the stars are aligned”, but this same infatuation may end up just setting us all up for great sorrow. Like all great things, they must all come to an end.

            It is crazy to me how a simple word can open up so many new ideas. What is so great about love? I believe it is because being loved, and truly loving something brings out the true joy in everyone. I guess if you love, then you are happy.  Whether that love does not last, it makes you happy, if only for a short time….

            If you must let it go then just be thankful you were able to at least feel that temporary “divine madness and emotional imbalance...” Be thankful for that. It is nothing short of complicated.

            If you do not love, then you do not live.

            If you do not live, then you do not exist.

            If you do not exist, well then you cannot be loved.

Complicated yet simple.  Try loving something new, just once, even for a day, and see if that does not change your perspective. It will imbalance your life, yet make it so much more desirable.

Living in a World of Uncertainties- Blog post #2 for Assignment

Picture taken from:http://www.ichoosechange.com/positive-change-negative-economy/

          In ones eyes it is grey, cloudy, dark, even smoky; like the fog coming off of an eerie swamp in the deep everglades where nothing, no one is safe. The human mind is filled with confusion, what if’s, and maybes. The heart is missing, lifeless, and completely drained. The pain that’s followed by the last drop of energy is indescribable. Questions with unanswered responses are what has taken over and become crucial. Being controlled with such a power that one doesn’t even notice the control they hold.

            Thoughts surface of how does one wake up and stand so strongly and grounded against everything they once felt, believed, even trusted. Convincing us of fixing all the problems they’ve created in our own head. Leaving behind everything that once was their dreams without a minute to spare.

            Something so simple has turned so complex. How does this even happen? Our quest of independence and fulfillment has destroyed what our heart was once so certain about. You’ve taken the hand of seeking the possibility of something you feel more entitled to have, something greener on the other side.

            If this was what was meant to be, wouldn’t that bit of emptiness of been there from the start, from the beginning? Or was it just a slight tasting of the forbidden fruit that is so tempting to us all? Allowing you to see what we have always wanted. Letting you to touch and lock hands with, fill you up with such a feeling you’ve only dreamed of being able to experience. To hand over your heart, to find yourself receiving one in return. Then allowing fear, uncertainty, and the fear of the unknown future take it all away.

            Your still thirsty in search of that special water to get through the day. You’ve become like a forest without trees, an empty sky with no stars to light the black sky. A life, still without a care in the world. Your fear is still there as well as your uncertainty, being afraid of not knowing the future still surrounds us all, and that is fear.

            Living without knowing is what life is about. No one wants to live in a world where everything is about approval, expectations, or judgment. Who is rightfully fit to be the judge, besides the Lord himself? It is hard to grasp but having unrealistic expectations entering into the unknown world is creating a life of disappointment. When it comes down to the end, we are such small fragments in this giant abyss. It was your choice who’s hand you wanted to hold, but you wont get far if you don’t let go of your own allowing it to be free to extend. 

What is Our Deepest Fear- Blog entry number 1 for Assignment

Picture taken from: http://www.badnima.com/2010/01/replace-fear-of-the-unknown-with-curiosity.html

            I am not sure what I am expecting out of this venting of frustrations, but I suppose I will only hope for the best.  There are a lot of things currently pressing on my mind. A LOT.  More than I ever thought I would be able to handle.  What is the easiest way to elevate stress? Talk about it, well in this case, blog about it.

            I am not the best at voicing how I truly feel about something. Not at all. I am the type of person that seems calm, cool, and collective on the outside, but on the inside my mind seems to be going at the rate of an Olympic finals race for the 100-meter dash, except everyday rather than every four years. Nobody wants to hear about someone else’s struggles, concerns, or feelings and rightfully so, why should they? It is just easier to keep it to yourself, you know? It makes things less complicated.  I can say that my biggest downfall is that nine times out of ten I will not voice an opinion.  Shocking, I know.  I generally am a pretty blunt person, but sometimes, just sometimes I will hold it in. 

            This is my problem. I care absolutely TOO much.  I give people way too much credit where less is deserved if any at all. I don’t know if I trust people too much or if it is that I try to respect everyone. But, unfortunately we have to find out the hard way that people in today’s society have no morals, no respect, and no respect for others property. It is beginning to look like Charles Darwin's idea of "survival of the fittest". I take their weaknesses and make them into my flaws.  In some screwed up way that is what happens. Why should I get worked up over these evil people? I need to start holding people accountable for what they do.  After all, I have been held up to that standard this entire time, correct?  I am genuinely a kind hearted individual.  Most times though, my rough outside and my quite persona does not quite highlight the good characteristics of mine.  Only a few people actually know and understand me. And, ironically those are the people I will remember for the rest of my life.

            A person’s past does not define them right? False, a person’s past completely makes them into the person they are today.  I know that I am smarter, wiser, and more caring then I was in the past.  Granted there will always be one aspect of my past that I will not ever get over.  Just one.  No one can understand it.  Few people know of it.  It is something that will haunt me until I die.  It was not my fault.  I know that.  Yet it lingers…Past DOES define a person.  Past does control you at times, but ultimately it is your responsibility to take it and run with it.  Take the past and run off a cliff with it or take it to a secret place tucked deep away for only you.  Whichever you prefer, but do not expect people to feel sorry for you.

            What is my biggest downfall and weakness of all time?  Do you really want to know?  It is fear.  Fear sometimes controls me.  Let me correct that, fear ALWAYS controls me. It has ruined relationships for me.  It has decided daily routines.  It is ultimately the one thing I struggle with the most.  I cannot understand it. I will never understand it. There is no one person, or a group of people that I fear.  What I fear is different, like a popular movie quote “My deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure”(Coach Carter). We are all capable of doing more than we can even comprehend, but our mind is a weapon and will shoot to save us, but will also shoot to kill us. That is scary. When I am faced with rational decisions, my first reaction is ultimate terror.  Fear takes over me and I have to do everything in my power to fight it back, but I will always fight back, always.